


estimates

by Hannah (hannahoftheinternet)



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Character Development, Character Study, Episode: s03e26 Scorpion, Gen, Leadership, Scars, Self-Discovery, Self-Doubt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-21
Updated: 2019-06-21
Packaged: 2020-05-16 01:23:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19307791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hannahoftheinternet/pseuds/Hannah
Summary: Being attacked by Species 8472 gives Harry Kim scars and a lot of other things.





	estimates

**Author's Note:**

> TW: scars, implied violence, and minor swearing.

Looking in the mirror, the scars aren’t as bad as Harry thought they would be. Maybe. Actually, they’re kind of horrible. Long, raised lines cover patches of his face, curling over his nose and cheekbones and jaw. One scar almost perfectly bisects his mouth—a neat line from his left nostril down towards the right side of his chin.

It’s been almost a month since he was released from sickbay after being attacked by Species 8472, and this is the first time he’s seen his reflection. Catching a glimpse in his polished black console doesn’t count. 

He looks away from the scars, feeling his stomach start to churn with anxiety and disgust, and peers at his reflected eyes instead. There’s one blemish at the outside corner of his right eye, but the rest of the area is relatively unmarked. And his eyes look more intense, somehow. Sharper.

Harry sighs, ducking his head and staring down at the sink. The curtain Neelix had loaned him to cover the mirror sits in a heap on the bathroom floor and he kicks at it, feeling vaguely childish as he does. He splashes water from the faucet over his cheeks, his fingers rasping over the scars. The urge to cringe away from himself deepens.

The bathroom door hisses open as he makes to leave the tiny room and return to his cabin. He can’t decide whether to flop on his bed and sleep, even though it’s only twenty-hundred hours, or to go to the mess hall and get dinner. His rumbling stomach effectively ends the debate.

Standing at the threshold of the door, looking out into the corridor, he’s suddenly struck down by paralyzing horror. Before he knew how his scars looked, he didn’t mind being seen with them, because he didn’t know the extent of the damage. But now… he knows. He almost turns back. He almost orders food from his replicator and spends the night alone.

And then Tom walks by, and calls out to him, and Harry absolutely has to leave his quarters now.

“Hiya, Harry,” Tom says, slowing down so that Harry can catch up to him. “Where are you heading?”

“Mess hall,” mumbles Harry, unable to decide if he wants Tom to be going to the same place or not.

“Me too.” When Harry doesn’t respond, Tom stops in the middle of the corridor, grabbing Harry by the arm to halt his movement. “Are you okay, Harry?”

Harry nods. “I’m fine.”

“Did you look in the mirror?” He looks up-- _ how did he know? _ \--and Tom smiles wryly. “I knew it. There’re not many things that can bring down Harry Kim, Ensign Extraordinaire, but I figured a glimpse of that face would be one of them.” Harry’s chagrin must be evident on his scarred face, because Tom hurriedly goes on, “I actually kind of like it.”

“You… like it.”

“Don’t sound so surprised. You look badass, or haven’t you noticed? When we get back home, you’re going to have a hell of a story to tell.”

***

Harry materializes in a cave, looking out at a sandy beach. The sun is just going down on Abster III, casting purple and orange light over the waters, dipping below a distant rock formation. He beamed down with a couple of ensigns to discuss trade with the Absterians, but a quick time check with his tricorder tells him that they’re slightly early.

“Spread out,” he tells Rura and Kireen, “but don’t go too far. Remember, the Absterians look scary, so don’t freak out if you see one.”

Rura starts sweeping the area with her tricorder, but Kireen sticks close to Harry as he exits the cave. He chose xem for this away mission because he felt that xe could learn to be a little more adventurous, but now he’s wondering if a less timorous crewmember might have been a better choice.

“Kireen,” he begins, “do you know why I picked you for this mission?”

“No, Lieutenant,” Kireen quavers, hand on xer phaser.

Harry stops walking and turns to look at the Trill ensign. “I picked you because you’re a great negotiator, one of our best, but you need to learn to get out of your comfort zone. You haven’t been on an away mission in the five years that we’ve been in the Delta Quadrant. Do you remember the briefing that Captain Janeway gave us on the Absterians yesterday?”

“Yes, sir.”

“They’re disgusted by signs of weakness. If we show that we’re scared at all during this interaction, they’ll try to go to war with us. You need to stand up straight, Ensign. You can’t be an explorer and stay on the ship at the same time.”

Kireen pushes xer shoulders back and nods. “Thank you, Lieutenant. I’ll do my best.”

“That’s all I ask.” Before he can say more, Rura calls to them from a few meters down the beach. With her are a few alien figures, shaggy and tusked. “This is it, Ensign.”

He and Kireen jog to meet Rura and the Absterians. As he gets closer, he can see that the aliens are over two heads taller than Rura, and she is not one of the slighter Bajorans. Recognizing the Minister of Trade from the mission briefing, he juts out his chin in the traditional Absterian greeting. “Good evening, friends. I’m Lieutenant Harry Kim of the Federation starship  _ Voyager _ .”

Kireen introduces xemself, as Absterian custom dictates that everyone must give their own name, rather than being presented by a leader or representative. Rura must have already introduced herself to the alien party, because  _ Voyager _ ’s new friends--or potential enemies--launch straight into their greetings.

“I must say, Lieutenant Kim,” Minister Miniata says when everyone is acquainted, “I was not expecting… you.”

The scars no longer pull painfully when Harry smiles. “Most people don’t. I didn’t look like this a year ago.”

“Your service photo must not be up to date,” says Arabet, one of Miniata’s aides. “The report we received from  _ Voyager _ showed you without scars.”

“I’m sure it’s a very interesting story,” Miniata says, very clearly inviting Harry to tell it. “Perhaps you can regale us with tales of your heroics over a traditional Absterian dinner, and then we can talk trade.”

“Sounds like a plan to me, Minister.” Harry extends a hand. “Lead the way.”

As they walk, Kireen leans over to him and says, “If I had scars like that, I’d never be afraid of anything, because everything would be afraid of me.”

Harry just smiles.

**Author's Note:**

> I found a prompt on Tumblr a while ago that said "Species 8472's attack on Harry leaves scarring and people stop underestimating him" and I had to write it.
> 
> Comments are a writer's best friend!


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